I'm Off A Boat

It’s finally over. Writing you now from the bus as we head from Port Canaveral to Miami. It feels like I am breathing deeper. I had an amazing time on the Carnival Glory – yesterday and the day before were a bunch of heartfelt goodbyes – and I’m leaving the ship a strong and much more optimistic person than when I started. Tonight will be my first night sleeping on dry land in half a year! Oh to be couped up in one big building for so long! I’m still checking my watch to make sure I’m back aboard on time.

Life got busy on board, so I do apologize for not writing. Girlfriends take up a lot of time! I met Jo my second week on board. She was the new acupuncturist, but still it took several months before I could manage a halfway decent conversation about Qi (pronounced “Chi”) in the crew bar. To see her again, I lamented about my back pain, and she just couldn't say no to offering to treat me. A few well placed needles later, and I was in. Even if I didn’t see her in the crew bar that night, I contend we would have met sooner or later. We were both displaced people. I think neither of us felt we totally belonged. She was more mature than most of the spa girls, and I, well, I never really planned to be the video guy on a cruise ship. It’s not really close to what I want to do in life and the similarities have more to do with lifestyle than technology.

She saw me off this morning and I got a little teary-eyed. I really don’t know what it would be like if I would not see her in ten days; she’s associate producing my next short film in Maine. The film has been the other thing taking up my time. Never a day goes by without some small victory or defeat, and my mood is often dependent on how the preproduction battle is going. Today, I am winning.

The film called “The Nightingales Sing” is based on a short story that appeared in the New Yorker in the 1940’s. I read it in an anthology titled “Greatest Short Stories of the 20^th Century.” I could go on and on and on about this film, but I’ll spare you. Just call me up and inevitably we’ll spend a good deal of time talking moviespeak. Jo points out that when my mind is on the film I turn into a not-so-great listener, so I’m making an effort to compartmentalize my time and mental energy to still be able to nature relationships (and to sleep at night). This film does consume me now. We go into production August 19^th.

I regret not writing more often. Too much happened that could have used investigation, exploration, interpretation… I’ll leave you with just a few lessons I have learned on this ship in a very intimate way.

1. Your mood is determined by who you know.

When I first came to the ship I saw it as an intimidating and soulless place. My new co-workers with their gulag type attitudes confirmed this for me. I saw friends working so hard, barely having time to sleep, as they adapted to the long hours on the cruise ship.

But after a while, I naturally drifted to those that shared my experience and felt some enjoyment in their day. It was quite a strange thing to know that so many different feelings: heartbreak, longing, the taurine and alcohol buzz at a killer party, casual sex, and a good laugh could all occur so closely together.

In the end, it is more than easy to overlook suffering when it is not mutual. Indeed, it is inevitable.

2. Friendship happens all at once.

It is quite interesting to me, that as a someone who came to the ship not knowing anyone, I can pinpoint exactly how my friendships came into being. The friendships I formed on the ship are some of the most treasured I have ever had. Interestingly enough, none of them occurred over time. They deepened over time, but the friendship was, it seems, an instantaneous agreement.

On the other hand, I did have other friendships that developed over time, but these were distinct for me and seldom crossed over the line to become "good friends."

There was risk involved, but this risk went hand in hand with a definitive feeling of wanting to get to know the other person and vice-versa.

3. Vacation is a state of mind

One of the best things about working on a cruise ship was that I was on vacation all the time. Most crewmembers did not feel on vacation, but I had the luxury of interacting with the guests and their mentality inevitably rubbed off.

Likewise, there were many guests that, although they were on a cruise ship, were not on vacation. I could tell who was going to have a great cruise from the first embarkation drill – the smile on their faces, their excitement. Whereas, the dour faces carried with them an expectation that they paid for a vacation and they were waiting for it to make them happy. That mentality won’t get them anywhere.

So, sometimes I'd sit in my bunk after a day’s shoot. The video is capturing onto the hard drive and not yet ready to edit. There’s really nothing to done expecting mix myself up some rum, play “Margaritaville” or some Bob Marley and crack open a good book. The sunlight never makes it’s way to my bleak and boring little cabin, but I know it’s there and that makes all the difference.

Cheers mates,
DSM